Tweetie – Beautiful Inefficiencies

Oh Tweetie how hot you are!

Your beautiful gradients and sexy smooth glazed interface make me want to rub cocoa butter all over your glossy-ness while gently typing tweet-nothings into your popups. Your color palette makes me want to play an acoustic version of Enrique Iglesias’ “Hero” in slow motion complete with broken English for added sexiness. You even have an equally hot twin sister! And you let me hang out with her and take her places with me and you don’t give me any grief for it.

You’re sexy, its a fact, all the cool kids in school know it. We all brag about how beautiful you are and how your smooth transitions work their way into our day dreams, but enough is enough! I’ve gotten to know you, and the hotness wears off – looks can only take you so far babe.

I think you just might be too much looks and not enough brains for me. Plus, you HIDE things from me, whats up with that? It took me forever to figure out where you want me to send a new tweet from, a tiny icon on the lower left hand corner, really? Is that what it’s come down to? It’s like I had to PRY it out of you! Same thing with retweeting! Wait, what do you call it? “Reposting” it’s almost like we aren’t even speaking the same language, why change things on me? Do you do this to taunt me? You’re not helpful to me, you don’t even help me when I forget my followers/friends twitter handles – or maybe I’m JUST a bad speller and always misspell my friends handles, it would help if you threw me a bone every now and then and suggested a name or two (even the ugly apps do that!).  And what’s up with all this clicking? It’s like you take pleasure in watching me chase your little blue dots from icon to icon as you watch me drop to the ground with a bad case of vertigo caused by the dam scrolling effect that you put me through. You don’t even play nice with my multiple personalities! Why can’t you just accept me for the complex individual that I am and help me be me and me and my company all at once? Why must I toggle myself and my other self on and off, I just want to be all of me and me at once (that might be a problem beyond you but don’t you judge me!) .

Look you’re hot, I get it and I hear that you have been working on yourself and plan on coming back stronger than ever – that’s great. But up to this point, I’m OVER how miserable and inefficient you’ve made me. Hopefully we can work out again sometime soon, but for now I’m over you.