Post Credits – Wolverine

This isn’t a review about Wolverine – if you’ve seen it you know that it’s the best movie on the face of PLANET at the moment and if you haven’t seen it, then you suck. This is a post about patience and what happens when you’re not patient.

See, I’m the kind of person that waits until after the majority of the people in the movie theater leave before I bother to get up. I’m in no rush. I have no where else to be. I sure as hell don’t want to be fighting traffic to squeeze out of a pair of double doors just so that I can get to my car a whole 3 minutes earlier. No thank you, sir!

My laid-back movie-watching philosophy at times rewards me in the form of post credits footage, alternative endings even! But no, when you go to the movies with a group of people you can’t always get your way and although my gut told me to stay, I felt bad holding everyone up. So I took a deep breath and reluctantly got up and slowly made my way out of the theater. Looking back as I took my final steps beyond the soft glow of the screen I saw nothing, just credits, and for a time I felt safe, I felt OK.

The bombshell

A few days later I’m spending some time with the family and during a break from a volleyball game (which I completely owned, by the way) my cousin, Richard lets me have it “Did you see Wolverine? Did you see the alternative endings after the credits?” said Richard through a satisfied smile as though acknowledging the fact that the alternatives were wicked bad-ass. “What the!?” I responded, in disbelief as I continue to replay my final moments in the theater in the form of an 80’s video montage complete with Air Supply’s  rendition of Badfinger’s “Without You” as musical accompaniment. Sadness draped over me…

I missed it! Apparently there were two alternative endings. One with Wolverine sitting in a Japanese bar getting dog-face plastered off of some crazy sake to “help him remember” or something (yeah ‘cause that always helps, you know) and the other one has to do with Deadpool, the Ryan Reynolds character.

Failure! I tried to look around the web but all I can find are grainy hidden hand-held videos with unnecessarily watered down/childish/retarded commentary above the dialogue. Let me know if you have better luck. In the mean time, gonna have to sneak into the credits of this one!